I had someone ask me if they could make their remarks anonymously and I started wondering if it would be easier for everyone to be more candid and thus allow us all to have a clearer picture of where we each are relative to others. The person who asked said they were concerned about how their identity might color or bias what others thought about what they said. My thought was to be better able to see if I was in the same ballpark as others or if I was truly "way out there".
I am pretty sure of the answer to that one, but for the benefit of all....

This first "1 thing" I found partly easy and a little challenging. I see the three circles as being interactive and changes in one effect and cause change in the other two. As for myself, I already know that the circle one has been the largest lack and absence in my own life till recent years. Now I am most focused on exploring, discovering, and building my circle one in a conscious intentional way, for the first time really. Naturally, I was very excited and positive about the new direction of our fellowship for this coming year so I might learn more about how and what to do, the mechanics of circle one I am not familiar with.

As for the other two circles, I am only just beginning to experience how they work together. I know my heart is in a good place but I don't really know where it will lead me. Too many unknowns between the opportunities that appear (what I recognize) and how I will respond (the choices I can see or know of). I'm just eager to see how it all unfolds. I would wager that it will be far beyond anything I can imagine.

Circle one in my life has been consistent since the age of thirty. I felt God’s call early in my life and became saved at age nine. However, some life changing events happened when I turned thirty. I was already married and had two of my three children and the third almost here. It was at this time when God called me to a new plateau. I see now this was in preparation for things to come.

I am now thirty-eight and have had circle two relationships for most of those eight years. Even though these relationships have come and gone God has always provided in time of need and circle one continues to be constant. A few times I have been active in circle three and for the most part it’s been a blast but I am not currently there. Once again God has brought change to the forefront of my life and for a short while all but circle one disappeared. I am now starting to build circle two relationships again with hopes that one day circle three will be in full swing like before, maybe even better.

Hey Gregg,

I'd like to comment on the anonymous comments idea. Posting comments on the internet is a strange form of interpersonal communication. It's strangely public yet intimate. It has been my experience that anonymous comments remove a certain level of accountability, which means that people think a little less about the things they say to other people. I've seen it be very hurtful. So, here at the Bridge Wiki we require accounts to carry real names, and we encourage people to post a picture as well. We want this to be as close to a real conversation as possible. That means looking someone in the face.

So... if that means someone might not share openly, that's OK. This is the internet after all, and anyone can read it. So, I'd recommend being wise and thoughtful about what you post. But I also wouldn't worry too much about sharing spiritual content, questions, and reflections.

Gregg & Carl,

Congratulations on being the first here at the My One Thing experiment. I am looking forward to seeing who joins in this conversation. It's a really exciting opportunity for growing together. Welcome!

The good thing is; all three of my circles are better today than they ever have been in my life. The not so good thing is; all three of my circles are way too shallow.

My circle one time with God is not yet something that is always first and natural in my life. It is something I often struggle with to get even a brief time alone with Him. Everyday life takes too high a priority and God takes too low a priority, even though I talk about Him more than ever.

My circle two consists of good relationships with good fellow believers, but even though I say I want to be accountable, my real self is not usually open to being held accountable in the deepest sense. I am proud and need to be in control. I'm so much better in this circle than I used to be, but I want and need to go to the next level. That is easier to say than actually do.

My circle three relationships are improving, but are so short of where I would like them to be. My heart goes out to people, but the rest of me is not quite so enthusiastic. The feelings are there, but not quite strong enough to cause sacrifice of any significance.

It is not completely clear to me where this ‘My One Thing’ is going, but I hope and pray that it will be what pushes me out of the comfortable box and into a deeper area of growth. Oh my! Now that I have put this in writing, I'm terrified that I might be held accountable. :-)

Jim, thanks so much for taking the risk and being open. I get that whole feeling of uncertainty and insecurity about what moving forward might mean. But - we can do it together! Glad to have you in the mix. So, what do you think is next for you?

The online bible study has been a tremendous help for me in staying better connected with God. It has made me more accountable. However, if I ever expect my circle two and three to be truly effective I simply must have better circle one time. So, to answer your question Marc, I plan to get more intentional about my one on one with God. Now, I have learned a few things in my life. I have dieted much of my life by making great plans and setting gigantic goals. Consequently, I have lost something in the neighborhood of 15000 lbs over my heavy life. Unfortunately, I’ve gained back about 15100 lbs. What I learned from that is to not try to do too much too soon. Therefore, I am going to start by trying to increase the quiet time I spend with God by about 10 extra minutes a day as a short term goal. My long term goal is to spend much, much more time every day trying to know Him better so that eventually I will be speaking to Him or about Him constantly and in the process I will hopefully become more like Him. However, for now if I can just focus on that extra 10 minutes a day (that would be about 35 minutes total) I think the ripples will gently become more prominent.

Jim, thanks for your applied wisdom. I too am wanting to increase my circle one experience. For right now that seems to mean moving from occasional, haphazard, moments of conscious thought about God, to a more structured practice in my daily life. Even if I have to set an alarm to stop everything and just sit down. I don't know how to start, there seems to be an infinite number of possibilities. I wish there was a widely distributed number of formula approaches like there are for dieting. At least I would have some idea of how other people approach it.

Jim & Gregg -- I think you both are on the right track. Part of the struggle is that we know that the ideal isn't some legalistic clock-watching process. Paul tells us to live a life marked by prayer without ceasing. But learning to pray without ceasing is hard. Richard Foster said it best: "The best way to learn how to pray all the time everywhere, is to start by praying at a certain time in a certain place." That's what this is about. I'm looking forward to hearing how this choice impacts you.

First I started typing up this beautiful allegory of my Rock of Ages and the oasis. I was waxing elloquent, when I accidently hit my keyboard askew and deleted the whole thing. Whew! You will be spared listening to me ramble on while attempting to figure out exactly where in the picture I am currently.

I love the life-giving water in my pond. It is fresh and filling. I love it when the Rock of Ages plunges into my depths, causing HUGE ripple effects, but I tend to want to ride the Rock to the bottom of the pond and sit there, gathering pond moss while God and I contemplate the matters of the universe...while I wait for the ripples to calm down. I am most comfortable in this postion, however, in the past year I've been learning how to live in the ripples. To me, that means, coming out of my head and learning to also live in my heart. That is where the water gets aggitated. Things of the heart are messier...there are emotions and conflict and sharing and mistakes and forgiveness and misunderstandings and hugs and tears and prayer and real life and growing. When I actually stand still for a moment and catch my breath, I am blown off my feet by the kind of life-transforming love that IS God. He is changing me and my heart so much (I am ashamed at the selfishness that he's trying to sweep away)! In the wake of those changes (they must be those ripples closest to The Rock), my relationships are changing too. I see it most in my marriage, but it is starting to spread out from there. So....where am I in the ripples....still pretty close to Circle One and getting more and more comfortable in Circle Two. But I am an inconsistent, selfish, sin-sick soul that is easily distracted. This year I want to break the cycle of giving Circle One less time in favor of more time in Circle Two. I want to learn how Jesus balanced it.

Blessing to each of one as we learn and share with each other.

To recognize Christ as supreme means to regard our relationship with him as the most vital and to make His interests our top priority. Boy have I messed that up. I know that I should live in constant contact and communication with Christ, but my humaness and brokeness get in the way. I have built this wall around me because I am afraid at what God might do next. My circle one time suffers tremendously because of that.

To bless and serve those in my circle of influence. I think this is where I am most comfortable. I love reaching out to those I am in community with. In fact I spend more time in Circle 2 than anywhere else. It is what I love. I love being with people and love developing relationships. Where I get hung up in this category is when I need to be more vulnerable and that is scary to me. Not just scary but terrifying.

Circle 3... hmmm not sure what to say in this area. I tend to be more shy in this area because I wouldn't want to say something to incriminate God. I am not ashamed, just dealing with some real heart issues between God and I. It is hard to reach out to others that aren't in my closer community and draw them in when I am in a wrestling match with God.

SO, for this year I desire and hope to reconcile the brokeness I have with God and to become free. I know it will take baby steps. If that means I have to sacrifice another hour of sleep to get to a point in which I can fully experience God's peace, love, freedom, and allow him to mold me into the mother, wife, friend, and woman He has planned for me, then that is what I will CHOOSE to do. I long for a deeper and more intimate life in Christ!

As I am reflecting on the ripples in my own life, I am encouraged. At first, I thought...oh Lord...I don't know if I want to reflect on that too much. However, over the past year and a half...I have been involved in the online study. There have been missed days and moments where I struggled with making time for it in my life. Yet, I see it has been impacting me in a silent, kind of elusive way. Having accountability in meeting each day, encourages my heart to desire more connection and time in the Word.
Doing this with friends, has made the experience so much more fun. So I would say my circle one is growing and in a routine of making time each day. My desire is to deepen this time with God...be less thought oriented and more listening oriented as I read. :)
Circle two is probably where I have pulled back in my life. For the majority of my years...I have been involved with many people and to the point that it became exhausting to connect. I want to reach out and I respond as the Lord nudges my heart...however you won't find me putting together ministry opportunities or women's luncheons etc. I prefer the one on one way of interacting and spending time with others.

Circle three is where my heart starts beating harder. I have been traveling this year and went to Africa. I am going again in 2 weeks and find that my soul comes alive in this circle three zone!
This "One Thing" process is great. I am excited to dig into the less accessed places of my life and see what's in there. I am up for the challenge! This was not hard and it is allowing me the space to ponder where my life is really at right now and where God is wanting to lead me! WOO HOO!

Julie, Dawn & Jacqui - welcome to the One Thing experiment. I'm so glad to have you joining us. I'm looking forward to hearing your reflections of the course of the year.

Julie - You're such a visual communicator. Thanks for sharing that. I join you in your search for priorities structured by Jesus.

Dawn - thanks for being so open and honest. That really moves me. Remember that no matter what God might do next, and how scary that might seem, He will always provide everything you need. His love for you is perfect, and perfect love casts out fear. As for your wrestling match - know that serving others, and reaching out beyond our circle of comfort is one of the ways that we actually get to hear God better and grow in clarity in our relationship with him. Instead of waiting until everything is resolved before you make an impact, start making an impact and you will very likely find things resolving in unexpected ways. I'm so glad to have you here!

Jacqui - Thanks for sharing your heart! Growing as a listener is such an important thing. I share that need with you. Looking forward to seeing what God does here in and among us.

Yeah, I fiigured it out...First of all, I am so excited to be a part of a community that encourages CHANGE, I have had some great growing things happen to me in the last year and want that to keep going! So, the ripples to me feel backward in my thinking, circle three, I feel drawn to but also feel sometimes insignificant to make a difference....so my main focus has been circle two, which I ROCK in, (sometimes to my detriment) I have to admit it easier to help others around me, friends,family, friends of friends, perfect strangers than to STOP and really listen to what GOD is saying to me....which lately I feel like he is shouting at the top of his lungs "JUST BE, TRACY, JUST BE!!! I need help just being! I want to just BE, I want to have a quiet circle one time that is just for ME, I would like to pray in quiet, and read in quiet, I feel very blessed that he is a patient GOD...

I love you so much Tracy...your authenticity is so refreshing and invigorating!!!! Fired up to see you here! YAY!!!
Funny how that patient thing keeps coming up...I am STILL working on my patience muscle. (It's a bit flabby)

September 12, 2008

(1 Thessalonians 2:4-8 NLT) “For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts. Never once did we try to win you with flattery, as you well know. And God is our witness that we were not pretending to be your friends just to get your money! As for human praise, we have never sought it from you or anyone else. As apostles of Christ we certainly had a right to make some demands of you, but instead we were like children among you. Or we were like a mother feeding and caring for her own children. We loved you so much that we shared with you not only God's Good News but our own lives, too.”

This is one of my favorite parts of the whole Bible! This, more than anything else, to me, describes what circle three is all about and it points to the foundation in place in order for circle three to happen. For we are called to be messengers approved by God! There was a time when my eyes were set on this as the goal but today I feel different. My intentions were good but I realize now just how much I am NOT in control.

Imagine a pyramid (geometrical shape not a structure built by the Egyptians) or funnel, circle one or your time with God is the base of the three layers and is the broadest (layer one representing circle one and so on). Layer two is placed on top of layer one but it begins to narrow. Finally, layer three comes to a point and is stabilized by layers one and two. As I have more influence my circle of influence gets smaller – as God hones your skills the tip of the sword becomes sharper. (Ephesians 6:12 NLT) “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

Now imagine what it would be like if I had things upside down with layer three or circle three coming first. That sounds silly but I’ve seen it happen. A person who finds himself in circle three begins to place their worth upon their achievements, forgetting why God blessed them in the first place. They are there because at one time their heart was right before God. As circle one grew, God was creating a strong foundation to build upon then circle two developed (again because of God). However, these are NOT steps to achieve circle three. In other words one cannot leave these behind once circle three is achieved or this pyramid will get turned upside down. If someone asked if that were the case our response would be a resounding, “no” but when things are at their best ask God to shine a light on the dark corners of your heart. You see we are not the ones doing this all important work, instead it is God doing the work through us and our connection to him needs to be unimpeded. Like Peter stepping out of the boat our eyes need to remain upon our Savior.

Hey Carl,
You've got it right on! And you haven't even been listening to me preach this stuff for ten years. All three are needed, one leads to the next strengthening it and filling it with energy. Any one alone is weak and empty. And man can we ever do just what you say - trying to live out some kind of visible circle three life, but without the support of real time before God and a supportive community of accountability! We just open ourselves up to wreckage that way.

Hi Everyone. I reflected on the role of the Rupples in my life yesterday at lunch. I'm just now finding time to comment.

I am consistently spending time in circle one. In reflecting on that process though, I felt God pointing out to me that my time is usually spent focusing my energies on the needs of my family. I have a "heavy" burden on my heart for them and pray for God's intervention and deliverance in their lives and for Him to bring healing, restoration, and salvation to them. I have to say that this "consumes" me. I've been devouring the concepts of prayer in "The Power of the Praying Parent," and so wishing it was available to me years ago! In my reflection time yesterday though, I felt God telling me that I need to also pray for myself so He can do the work I need done in my life too. Not that I don't ask for forgiveness and for God to help me to be all that He wants me to be, I do. But God may have plans for me that I am unaware of because I am so consumed by the needs of my family I can't hear what else he might have in mind for me. A friend recently pointed out to me, "they are His children too, Debra." So, thank you Marc for this reflection time. I know I need to "let go and let God" (this is not easy for me you know) and give Him the space in my life to use me in other ways too. . . which leads to the other circles. I am involved in a cell group and reach out to others as I feel God leading, but because I am so consumed by Circle One, I guess I haven't had the energy for much of anything else. There has to be a way to balance all this out. I am anxious to learn how.

I affirm this so strongly for you, Debra. Your boys are a big part of your life, but God wants to work in and through you in ways that are beyond them. I know that takes courage to even consider. I'm glad you're doing it!

My circle one really seems to exist in my heart but not in my life. I feel like I'm living life way to fast, wanting way too many things to happen for circle 2 and 3 and I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed with all of the relationships in my life. I'm so excited to go back to the basics, read the bible, talk to God and most importantly listen to God. I feel like I am always in a hurry, working 2 jobs, now putting our house up for sale, maintaining a few dozen friendships, learning how to be a better wife, keeping up with over 50 nieces and nephews, trying to accomplish my dreams, etc., I don't even know where to begin sometimes except to just say no to everyone before I have a heart attack at age 28. I'm tired of living my life for others, I want to seek God and hear where he wants me to be. There are many things that are and have been very strong on my heart this past year. But I know that I need to spend time with God before I seek those things out or I'll be following my own path and not God's.

It scares me sometimes realizing how short this life is. I want to make a huge difference in this world and I know that at the way I'm living my life, it's going to take 5 lifetimes to make my relationship with God happen if I don't just stop and let go now. I want people to know where I'm at and am therefore very open and honest with anything and everything going on in my life. I encourage anyone who is having a hard time sharing and being vulnerable to really trust God and let go. It's so much easier - now it seems I just need to create the time in my life to put God first.

Thanks for joining in, Rachel. I'm looking forward to your involvement and reflections as this process unfolds.

To everyone who jumped in at the beginning of this thing - thanks for taking the risk. I'm very excited to see what happens for us over the year as we get intentional about pursuing spiritual growth. Thanks for joining me on the journey.