Welcome to a new week! This one is a little different than the past. I am looking forward to hearing you reflect on our journey so far over the past now seven weeks. For me personally the big lesson of these few weeks together has been a huge reminder of the power of intentional living. None of these has really been that huge of a deal, but getting into the space where I'm thinking about these things has really honed my view of my own life and decisions. I feel more on track in my relationship with God than I have in a while and that is bearing fruit in me.

Marc, thanks for letting us into your journey. It's cool to hear what's going on in your head.
I think my reflection is very similar... this all feels like prep work setting me up for something bigger. Just getting my head and my heart in a space where I am open to change happening, looking for it, and being intentional about staying alert. That's huge for me since a lot of my life feels like I am just muddling through. I don't want that. I want to be aware all the time of more than just my mundane existence.

To be completely open I’ve been feeling a little bit of reluctance as we work our way through this and I am not sure why. Like Marc and Candi said none of this has been particularly difficult but still I am reminded of a song by Sara Groves’ on her 1999 album “Conversations” – “Painting Pictures of Egypt”

Verse 1: I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
And the places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling out to me
Like a long lost friend

Verse: 2 Its not about losing faith
Its not about trust
Its all about comfortable
When you move so much
And the place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
And it wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

Chorus: I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacks
And the future feels so hard
And I want to go back
But the places they used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I’ve learned
Those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned

Verse 3: The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
I am caught between the Promise
And the things I know

Chorus

Bridge: If it comes to quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
And if it comes to quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

Just a follow up. I don't see this as a threat to growth in my life more of a little nagging feeling and it seems to go back as far as I can remember. I'm left not quite sure what to make of it. Am I lazy? Does it point to a deeper problem or does it just mean I am human? Anyway I am all for growth in the spiritual department but a little unsure of what it will cost me and unsure of my ability to make the right decision when I need to. All of this makes me glad God has promised not to leave me unfinished or alone.

Hello! Figured it was about time to jump in here. I've been following along, but haven't done all of the assignments, so this review week was grace to me! :)
I spent time with the cut something assignment, because it seemed so easy to 'agree with' and not do. I wrote in my journal about all the different things in my life, and felt torn - there's so much there, but all of it seems important. And when I look at the full list my instinct is to add more to it - more C1 time, working out, date night, times to clean my house and my car, etc. I resisted the urge to add more, and figured if I am going to make some changes, I should start with cutting stuff out. So - it's small - but I am going to cut out surfing the internet after Dan goes to sleep. It's a stupid habit that costs me an hour or more several days a week. Instead I'll either do C1 time, read, journal, or just go to bed so I'm not always feeling so "tired."
Cheers,
Brit

Carl, I have some of the same reluctance and I'm not quite sure what to make of it either. For me, knowing me the way I do, I suppose I am just another human with a few deeper problems and an occasional lazy streak! :-) Thanks for helping me to clarify! Seriously, I think it is very normal to be reluctant to step out of a comfort zone (even if it is not exactly where I need to be) and move into an area that very well may not be comfortable at all initially. It takes a tremendous amount of faith to be willing to surrender 100% to God's will knowing full well it may be way harder than a course I would choose on my own. My short sightedness sometimes causes me to see only the difficulty rather than the big picture of God's love and wisdom! Man, if it wasn't for me, my walk with God would be much easier!

Great thoughts guys...I like what you said at the end of your comment Jim...It resonates with me so much!! "Man, if it wasn't for me, my walk with God would be so much easier!"
Nuff said! :)

Good call, Brittany! I've done that one myself and you're right - it's never substantially added to my life. :-)

I am familiar with that feeling of discomfort. It reminds me of how I felt the first time I was headed into some counseling and I was experiencing so much fear around what it might reveal. I felt I would be totally exposed, unable to hide my "true" self and was just convinced something terrible and shameful would be found and etc.. Anyway, this series of exercises took me to a place of having to face one of my own feelings of being very unsettled around the issue of my relationship to God and what He expects of me. It took me to seeing that fear of being a failure, that I was not living up to God's expectations of me and I kept remembering passages like "to he who has much, more will be given and he who has little, more will be taken away". It started to feel like I was being overtaken by self condemnation and judgment.

But by continuing on with each new thing, I was lead to a completely different way of seeing myself and understanding better what God is seeing. What a RELIEF!!!!
The first stage was to begin to understand that God's love is truly unconditional and I can't do anything to make Him stop loving me. Then I realized that He knew what I was going to be before I was made, and like sooo many humans before me, he knew the kind of struggles I would have, all the ways in which I was weak and so totally unable to redeem myself. He wasn't surprised by any of my mistakes or brokenness and knew what kind of help I was going to need from Him. And I began to recognize how the Bible serves to tell how God intended to do what was necessary for each one to be able to reach Him, know Him, and come to a deep desire to grow into and be a part of Him.

I also had to include the idea that He knew all this was going to take some time and a whole lot of different experiences to shape me and transform me into what He ultimately wants me to become. So, just like our "Snapshots" series last year, today is just a snapshot, a moment in my journey. A tiny slice, a little cross-section of all that I am in God's eyes. That sort of puts my own opinions under a different light The net result has been one of great reassurance and feeling much more relaxed about where I am in my relationship with God. Instead of trying to impose my own idea of what I think I should be or where over what God thinks, I think I've become more patient and accepting of myself. Like Marc said, there is something powerful about the intention of what I am doing and I have discovered my intentions are pretty good. I am going in a good direction and doing fairly well with each day God gives to me and I can trust Him to make good use of every circumstance I encounter if I just seek for His Heart and Mind in each thing.

Please excuse me for going on at such length, but if there is a major flaw in my thinking, then it gives all of you a chance to recognize it and not make the same mistake and hopefully, share your insight with me.

God is with you...

Thanks for sharing at length, Gregg. I think it's a common pitfall with exercises like this, that we can start to feel judgment or like we're not measuring up. But that's not what it's about. It's cool to hear how your thoughts and feelings changed. These are all just opportunities to see our journey more clearly. God loves us and provides us limitless grace in the journey. Doing exercises like these isn't about being a perfect Christian. It's about growing in our desire to grow!